Sorry, I may have given the wrong impression, but your problem is not with Apache. Your problem is with PHP.
If you can run PHP 5.2 or later, it will be easier for you. If you need to use PHP 4.3 or 4.4, you need to apply a patch to PHP source code, recompile and install it. That is what I did. Read this article to learn how to do it:
phpclasses.org/blog/post/61-File-up
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That patch adds support to the PHP upload hooks, which are built-in PHP 5.2. Once you have that enabled, you also need to install the upload progress extension. Then the form upload progress will work for you.
I do not have time now, but if you need help from somebody to setup your Web server, I may find somebody that can do it for a regular consulting fee. Just let me know if you would like me to find a consultant to help you.